mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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