...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
