I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
