I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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