She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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