He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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