now i know why i became what i already was.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
