fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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