You just made me feel so damn special
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
