hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
