I look better un-naked...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
