They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
