OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize