he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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