last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
