Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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