I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize