if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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