Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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