my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
