It's Friday. Sex?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
