Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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