hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
