He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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