I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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