I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
