We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My hand turned me down
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
