You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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