Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
