Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
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Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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