i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
