This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
