he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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