$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
