You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
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I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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