cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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