To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
