If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
