Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
