All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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