I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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