if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
