Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
