You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
