I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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