dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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