I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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