Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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