So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
