They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
