we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
soo... how was my night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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