Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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