Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
