she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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