It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
