oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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